I'd Rather Be Making Memories
It’s been a whirlwind of a summer! Well, 10 months really….let me rewind a bit….rrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooo (sp?).
My family and I officially moved out of CT this June after a fantastical 2 years on the East Coast spent with our family, close crew of friends, and a slew of new friendships.
It was amazing to see our girls learn how to ski (I finally learned how to ski at 40 and let me tell you, I’m awful, but I’ve managed to not break my face), fall in love with New York City, and grow their own personal connection to the (best) coast that both Parth and I love so much. I recently heard my older daughter say she has a “East Coast soul”….me too, sweetheart, me too.
Since this is our 7th move in 13 years (yes, I’ll keep reminding everyone of this) we thought we would mix it up a bit and take 6 weeks off before we had to look at moving trucks again.
Just FYI, my parents are 72 and 79 and are still taking care of my a$$, my kids, and making homemade meals 3 times a day. Like, how is this possible? I’ve decided they are infinitely better human beings, there is no other explanation. The past 6 weeks has been pure bliss, I felt nursed back to balance after a stressful year of a long-distance marriage and a lot of solo parenting. My parents’ house is still the only place I can sleep without waking up in the middle of the night with anxious thoughts (yes, I know I need to see someone about this).
All that being said, I needed some travel time to get out of my head. So when the hubby told me he HAD to go to Aspen for work, I decided I HAD to go as well. It was the first time we had traveled alone in a year and I remember thinking to myself, wow, we are going to have conversations IRL!
After 5 days in the mountains, eating amazing food, hiking (the easy trails because, my god), and drinking like an adult, I felt more like myself than I had in years. So, thank you Aspen for getting me back to good.
We also got a chance to do our annual family trip- just the 4 of us- for a week. We started the tradition 2 years ago and had the best time actually playing with our kids without having to parent (it feels so good to be a “cool” mom for a few days). It’s honestly my favorite trip of the year and it reminds me that my girls are becoming intelligent, witty, and confident human beings that just want to love on us. I also realized that the hubby and I can still make each other laugh a lot. And really, that’s all you need sometimes.
Alright, I’m done. Everyone can throw up right now.
People ask me constantly, “how do you move so many times?” or “man, you must you be a pro!” or “what about your goals?”….all legit commentary and all asked out of love. First of all, let’s get it out there, moving sucks. The stress, the (maddening) logistics, the starting over in every aspect. They say (Google says) moving is one of the top stressful life events.
It most definitely is.
That being said, I want to focus on the positive of it all, the life lessons that I have been forced to learn the past 13 years.
My moves have been all because of the hubby’s job, which is why I get the “how do you do it” question so many times. And the answer is this- we’re a team. Sure, these moves are for his career, but I look it at as a collective job now, building our lives together and growing as a couple and a family. Has it been hard? Yes. But it’s also been fun as hell. Better said, it’s been an adventure. So many epic and ridiculous stories I can’t even recall (I should have started this museletter years ago, my memory blows). On a side note, nothing makes you more certain that you picked the right partner in life than moving/traveling around like vagabonds.
Babymoon in Bali
As for my goals, well the answer for that is I have made (sometimes forced) certain steps towards those goals with much persistence and the drive to do something for myself. Luckily for the both of us, I was also never a “9-5 climb up some ladder” kind of person. I’ve had like 9 different careers the past 13 years and loved every one of them (ok, some were pure crap). Looking back, they all seem to make sense now and I honestly believe I would not have found what I love doing without this somewhat twisted journey.
Am I a pro? I guess in a weird way, I have become more of a pro on dealing with the emotions of moving. My perspective and what each move means for me and for my family has evolved over time. Don’t get me wrong, there are still many tears, still many hiding in closets cuddling with my girlfiend Vino moments. I don’t know though, I don’t view any of this as a negative anymore. With each move, I feel like a stronger and braver person and have grown in ways I never would have if it weren’t for these ebbs and flows.
Relationships- man, you quickly learn about relationships when you are considered a transient everywhere you live. You realize who your inner circle is, who is really there for you, who you really want to spend time with, where that mutual, positive energy is. You also realize that even in your 40s, it’s possible (at times tiring) to make new friends. Some friends stay, some go. And I’m finally at peace with that concept-as many of us are over time. For someone like me, who thought I needed 872,734 best friends in order to survive, it’s the one lesson I’m the most grateful for. I feel so much lighter.
Finally (my god this is long), I’ve also realized throughout these moves that I’d rather be making memories than reminisce about the past. As someone who is ALWAYS nostalgic and has the tendency to look back, this is a very big deal. The difference for me now is that I don’t dwell on things as much. I can smile at the memories, appreciate the experiences for what they were, and move on a lot quicker. And guess what? That helps me feel even lighter.
Uh…so, is this supposed to be about the podcast? Ha. Sorry guys, a lot on my mind so just wanted to share with those of you who haven’t fallen asleep yet.
The podcast is alive and kicking though!
Going to jumpstart Tuckered Out in a few weeks and will be writing about my recent Kal Penn interview…but I’ll spare you for now. Thank you guys for checking in, sending you many hugs.
I’ll leave you with my song for this summer.
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